Better Know a Meshumedes

Hedyot started his much anticipated Better Know a Kofer series with Sara, a former orthodox BY teacher turned Christian, wait, Catholic – yeah, there is a difference apparently.

The first thought I had when I heard about the premise was, wow, this is wild. But then after thinking about it, and reading the many comments, both at DH and at XGH, I have some observation I wish to share.

1. The premise of the series is to debunk the common notion (in frum circles) that leaving Judaism ultimately leads to self destruction, to drugs parties and AIDS (I'm not even exaggerating the wording!). By introducing Sara as the first 'Kofer' DH shows a normal functioning mother and lawyer who left the comfort of Ultra Orthodoxy. Yet, on the other hand, many will argue that what is keeping her sanity and normalcy is, once again, religion. To them it is religion that keeps you from malfunctioning and even Christianity can function as a buffer between the natural animalistic tendency and a higher purpose. That argument wasn't settled yet.

2. Most people were bewildered at her choice of becoming Christian, a Meshumedes. The people I know that left, and I know a few, either had reason and critique to thank, or a host of emotional reasons that bars any form of restraint and structured religion. Choosing another religion runs contrary to the comfort classifications my mind has created to explain the phenomenon of leaving. Now I must understand her choice, I thought to myself. Not to criticize just to broaden my classification perhaps, or create another box in my mind to explain future meshumadim.

3. There is a huge difference between Christianity and any other religion, at least to one who grew up in a frum environment like, well, most of the commenters there. To be a 'goy' has plenty of negative connotations growing up, but eventually one gets to see many normal, successful and healthy goyim, and the indoctrination wears off – for the most. But then to be a 'Katolic', or a 'Christ' has ONLY negative connotations. From my first day on earth until today there was nothing good to associate with the word Christian. It always associated with an opposing religion, persecution, Galuchim who pry on the young and then preach against young and old. The only positive thing one can point out, Pope JP has also been tainted by his successor, it is as if they thrive in controversy. Yet I know many Christians, and perhaps Catholics too that I have only positive things to say about them, but I think of them as Goyim, or people, not Christian. That is why when confronted with a convert to Catholicism only the negative connotations pop up.

For that alone I'm glad that the interview took place and was posted for an open discussion. Reading it I realized where my own fears and xenophobia really come from. True, the church she belongs to has done some awful things for a very long time but that no longer is that case, and she, or any other living Christian today is not part of that. The fact that Sara had a different upbringing or background that allowed her to see Christianity for what it is worth – to her, and not for its historic wrongdoings, the fact that she shared it, discussed it and stood up for it made it easier for me to confront the mental classifications that automatically pop up when the C word is mentioned.