Monday, April 18, 2005

A Taste of Hell

Yummie...
One of the last barriers keeping me in the fold was eating kosher. For some reason I could not get myself to eat something not endorsed as kosher by a Rabbi. Eating OU or some other shady Hechsher (kosher certificate) was no problem, so wasn’t a stifling hot latte from Starbucks or even eating milk and meat without waiting the required six hours between them. Still, I stayed away from anything worse then Cholov Akum (non-kosher milk products). That was until last night.

Last night I went to visit one of the many friends who I have met through this blog. Let’s call her Miri. Miri was once Chassidish, married and lived in one of the most reclusive, repulsive, repugnant areas that Chassidim could live in. (I’m not going to name it to hide her identity but there aren’t a lot of those around.) Miri eventually left her land and her birthplace and her fathers house* and went to a place where she could live the way she wants to. The place she chose is in a very Yiddishe community although that specific block is not so Yiddish.

My stomach was already growling when I walked up the steps to her apartment. It was so bad that I was afraid that I’m waking up her little daughters that were sleeping so peacefully in the other room. I was hungry and I had to admit it to her when she asked me if I am. She knows me from the blog so naturally she asked me if I want some Chinese from down the block. I racked my brains on where there is a kosher Chinese on that block for I consider myself an expert on the kosher fine food establishments around here. Turns out that there is a Chinese restaurant there, only it is not kosher. I politely declined the offer saying that I have never yet eaten non-kosher food in my life.

She sounded shocked and I do not blame her. Here is this bona fide Shaigetz who's claim to fame is his none believing, yet he cannot eat a chicken sandwich from Burger King. I always knew that it is a physiological restraint and not an actual fear. Still, I never tried it. At times that I was really hungry and would not be in or near a Jewish community I would feast on coffee, potato chips and fruit. Even after eating on Yom Kipur for three years now, I still did not eat a cooked vegetable that was in the same pot as un-kosher beef.

We decided to go to a kosher eatery where I will order something while she would hide out in the car, after all we could not be seen together. At the corner, right next to the Chinese, Something came into me** and I decided to end this Meshiga’as (craziness) then and there and get myself once for all something Trief (un-kosher).

Miri was ever so nice as usual and volunteered to get me something good while I hid in the car waiting for her return. I could not care less what she would order for me, but I hoped that it tastes good so it would not deter me from eating non-kosher again. I sat in the car for a good 15 minutes. Miri even came out to sit with me to make sure that I am all right while the food was being prepared. For the first time in years, I felt scared by something non-existent and that feeling by itself intensified the fear. Here is me, big grownup Bock, having to be persuaded that eating a piece of chicken is Nisht Azoi Geferlach (not so terrible).

She came out of the store with a “chicken teriyaki” I had never heard of it but the smell itself was enough to incite me.

We walked into her apartment; the lights were dimmed so her little daughter should not wake up. I sat down at the kitchen table, feeling my heart pumping blood at a frantic pace. She lit three candles and claimed that they are scented. I guess that I was too out of it to scent anything. She took out nice crystal glasses that are used only on special occasions, poured the caffeine-free-lemon flavored-diet-coke into it, and put it down next to me. Next, she took out a few fancy napkins and set it to my right. Then she took out a plastic plate and plastic fork and served me supper. I looked at the dish; it did smell good I clearly remember. It looked good too.

I always imagined in my mind that un-kosher food has some sort of yuck factor to it. It did not. I picked up with the back of my fork a piece of broccoli and instinctually made a Brocho (blessing) before remembering that one is actually not allowed to bless god when doing a sin***.

It took me the better part of five minutes to chew it. Miri sat by, patiently waiting for me to get over the excitement and start enjoying the food. After swallowing it I still had to eat the real thing. A piece of chicken, probably smaller then a than a Kol Shehee was first to enter my mouth followed by a bigger piece and then an even bigger piece. Pretty soon I was enjoying the dish itself without thinking of the ingredients it contains.

Somewhere in middle of eating, I remembered what RedSong had told me earlier about how chicken are fed with growth hormones that actually cause cancer in the black community, which generally eats more chicken then the average American. The un-kosher chicken is juicer then the ones I’m used to eating. Even the Chinese bits are fuller then the ones served at Mr. Wok or at China Glatt on the rare occasion. Thus, the thought of the foul being injected with hormones that I was so peacefully enjoying made me stop eating when I felt not hungry anymore.

Telling Miri that I’m going to vomit I asked her to bring me a Negel Vasser Shisel (bucket) so I wouldn’t mess up her kitchen. She though I was serious and looked at me with begging eyes. No, it screamed. When I made the motion of vomiting she closed her eyes and jolted away in disgust. She only opened them when she heard me laugh. Oh how cruel can one piece of Treifehne chicken make a person.

Now that I have overcome this obstacle too all that is still left for me to do is sleeping with a guy and worshiping an idol. Both of them are things that I will never do (sorry guys). I can now rest in peace.

So, if this is what hell is about then I might actually consider it.

*לך לך מארצך וממולדתך ומבית אביך

**אין אדם חוטא אלא אם כן נכנסה בו רוח שטות

***בוצע ברך ניאץ ה

64 comments:

  1. My heart goes out for you, Shtreimel. I see an intelligent guy in a desparate search for happiness screwing up his life and the life of those around him.
    Hooray for you for finally conquering the hurdle of eating treif chicken teriyaki. I bet that all your chasidim will be congratulating you on your "bravery".
    Read your own words. You have pretty much gotten to where you want to be. Now what? You're a guy who has no goals or aspirations, you have no respect for yourself or for anyone in your life.
    What are you living for now?

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  2. Next time try it with a glass of יין נסך.

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  3. A woman, good food, candles & a sense of "transgression" make for a very "sexy" story.

    Regarding "**" it's funny how that commentary was written in the context of the "Sotah" or woman who's been seen in seclusion with another man. (Bamidbar/Numbers 5:11-31.) If there were gender equity, you'd be drinking bitter water along with you Xing-Tao :) (or, If I were Mrs S, I'd be pissed. If a female friend of mine had me over for dinner alone and lit candles, I'd have my guard up.) But Chicken Teriyaki, a Japanese dish, from a Chinese restaurant? That would be like buying a shtreimel from a sofer. Regarding hormones, there's nothing unkosher about hormones, so don't assume that kosher chickens don't have them. If it's true that there's greater incidence of cancer among blacks, then it could be caused by any number of factors. In any case, we're talking about one chicken dish. Then regarding the bracha. I'm not familiar with the pasuk you cited "***", (please do, so I can study up on it) but I'd bet that that's an "interpretation" that's been read into it. I'm gonna guess that it's from "Navi" and Isaiah's admonitions (Hazon Yeshaiahu) come to mind. He's chewing out (pardon the pun) the people for ripping each other off, not for eating "improperly" prepped chicken teriyaki. I recall my years at a prominent Chassidishe summer camp that got a significant amount of its funding through government program fraud. If they were forbidden to make the brachah on Torah study, no one bothered noticing.

    Finally, should you choose to chase your next unkosher meal with "stam yainam," please remember that "hagafen" goes first!

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  4. Gayil, as a long time reader of this blog, I was wondering where you get the vibes that Striemel has no "goals, aspirations, or respect for himself or anyone in his life."

    I glanced over your blogger profile and noticed that your into the "ID, EGO, Superego, and other Freudian terms.

    Are you familiar with the Defense Mechanisms called "transferring" and "Projecting'?

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  5. I am *certain* someone asked this way earlier than me. Shtreimel, if an orthodox way of life is so beneath you - why struggle at all? Go into the world and stop living a lie - that on the outside you are a frimme yid, but on the inside, you loathe your own life. Whats up with that anyway?

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  6. HT: I suspect that the "goals and aspirations" is something that's indoctrinated into people. I recall hearing it as a teenager under the following circumstances:

    My parents are "sort of" chassidish and sent us to Litvishe yeshivot and chassidishe summer camp. One year, my older brother married a "modern girl" whose family was "not up to my parents standards." They wanted to prevent a repeat of such an embarrassment and tried to steer my remaining siblings and me into chassidishe yeshivot (talk about the right reasons for doing things.) At the same time, the staff of this camp seemed hell-bent on recruiting every kid in the camp who attended a different yeshiva to join theirs. It's then that a counselor said to me "a person has to have goals in life" (as if people in my elite "Lakewood-style" yeshiva had none.)

    BTW, I'd love your input on an interesting discussion going on on my 'blog - http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=11038716&postID=111299239997370916 Thanks.

    Ben

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  7. Comments on language:

    "stifling hot latte" - You're implying that coffee puts you to sleep.

    "reclusive, repulsive, repugnant" - reclusive generally refers to people, not places, "remote" might be better. And, can any neighborhood be truly "repulsive and repugnant?" It's true that certain places have their shortcomings, e.g., lack of culture, crime, nasty people but it's the people, not the place, n'est ce pas?

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  8. Geez S., even a gentile like me knows they make kosher teriyaki sauce. It's called Soy-vey and it's yummy. (Of course I'm not real into the levels of kosher-ness thing.)

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  9. Hormones in chicken feed has been outlawed since the 1960s. There are anti-biotics stiil in use, and despite the conspiracy theories, there is no evidence of any significant harm from eating those chickens.

    There is more irrational paranioa in the Black community than in the Jewish one. The high incidence of cancer in blacks may be due to several factors which include lifestyle, urban pollution, smoking, illiteracy, stress, and inadequate medical care.

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  10. Shtreimel,

    Actually I can think of a lot of meals that would be much more treif than the one you just described. You really haven’t lived until you’ve been somewhere like Serendipity (http://www.serendipity3.com/) and eaten a bacon cheeseburger directly followed by a huge ice cream sundae. Congratulations though, one step at a time, right?

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  11. Your post made me so hungry I just had to order me some Chinese food (jk). Is this the end of your adventures in non-kosher food? Or merely a bitter-sweet beginning? Are you going to start smuggling ham sandiwiches in your shtreimel now? ;-)

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  12. So when are we going to get the next blog “a taste of haven” and in it we will hear what the desert (Miri) was like!!!

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  13. *cries for Kashrut*

    I think that, to me, Kashrut really tells us where you are. Although I disagree with the chassids not permitting something like OU, I still see it as crazy to just go and eat completely unkosher no question about it food. There's no real benefit to unkosher food. It might taste good, but kosher food tastes good on it's own. Glatt kosher beef is always much softer and more delicious than plain meat.

    More than that, Kosher defines us, it screams that we have our own standard as Jews, a certain level that our food must meet, saying: We are more careful with our food! It's the basic element of our Jewishness, more than anything else I think.

    Anyway, *sigh* I'm sorry that you took such a step. Passover's coming up, will you be keeping pesadich?

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  14. Avrum,
    I would have to get hold of a glass of wine that was used as a sacrifice to an idol as prescribes by the idolaters themselves. Quite a hard task one must admit. I could have much easier ways to be over on having Ha'naha from Avodeh Zoroh. How about sneaking into the Trinity Church on Broadway and Wall Street and just listen in to their beautiful choir, sounds good?

    Ben,
    If one could have American and Chinese food served under "Mo Chong Take out" or whatever, why can't there be Japanese and Chinese it makes more sense than American and Chinese.

    The Posuk I cited is in Tehilim 10:3. The Talmud in Boveh Kama 94a refers to it as the reason why one should not make a blessing when it contains stolen goods (olov hakosuv omer…). There's an interesting Midrash that tells us that when the Shvotim wanted to kill Yosef they first sat down to eat. After the meal, they were going to Bentch but Yehudah thought that they would be a Me'naetz so he then decided to sell Joseph. He also used the words Botseh'ah beirech…--The midrash based it on the word play of "mah betzah" (Bereishis 37:27) to Botze'ah.

    Wine for me is still in the context of Kidush, Havdoleh and Purim. I have not learned yet how to sip wine and enjoy it as its own pleasure.

    Gayil,
    Thank goodness that HT has chosen to stick up for me once again. It is not often that we see eye to eye here. Watch out for she can really bite with venom. Thanks HT.

    Liz,
    Read up more in the previous posts. I wonder though, where you figured that I “loathe my own life”. Care to elaborate?

    Ben,
    Stifling as defined by answers.com
    “Very hot or stuffy almost to the point of being suffocating.”
    I actually heard the word being used more then once in this context.

    re, reclusive: Again, I must rely on answers.com
    “Providing seclusion: a reclusive hut.”
    Although, this time I must agree that it usually refers to in common speech towards the person not the place.

    Don’t the people define the place?

    Re, n'est ce pas? Question, could it be used as “it isn’t so” or could it only be used as in a rhetorical “isn’t it so?” Just wondering.

    Alice,
    I’m sure that there is, and probably good tasting too. I needed the un-kosher version though…

    SL,
    RedSong is far from being African.

    Michelle,
    I had to start with something I’m used too. I didn’t try pork rinds yet…

    Naomi,
    LOL. Maybe. Would you invite me for dinner? Oh I forgot you keep Kosher, forget it.

    SF,
    I probably will not get a chance to eat anything Chometzdig. I’m not going to go out of my way to force myself to eat Chometz. I’m not a Mumer Le’hachis. I don’t go for the tradition and being different thingy though.

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  15. It's strange, I haven't been religously Jewish for years but there are some things that are always weird to me. I can cook pork products and shellfish for my family and I have tried to eat them (setting a good example for the little one, alway trying the foods I don't care for just to see if I change my mind) but I can't seem to get over the feeling that it is just gross. Unkosher meat, no problem, it looks the same. Bacon is bacon, though. It's not like I think hashem is watching me, it's just the taste is not something I associate with food, I guess.

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  16. I have doubts regarding the quality of the singing in NY churches. A better bet is to get some recordings of, say Monteverdi's Vespers for the Virgin Mary, Bach's cantata no 131, or Pergolesi's Stabat Mater. Such music is every bit as treif as the chicken teryiaki, but it generates sensual - spiritual uplift that the best food cannot provide.

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  17. Wine is more readily appreciated than church music, and there is a good choice of quality kosher wines (e g Ramat Hagolan). Kosher wine goes well with treif food.

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  18. Shtreimel,

    Don't care what color RedSong is. He/She is plain wrong. The facts are the facts. Eat your chicken teriaki with gusto. There are NO hormones in the chicken feed, and the antibiotics help stem foodborne illnesses.

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  19. Clearly your heart (along with stomach) is telling you that you have stepped on the wrong path. Try to be true to yourself. There's no need for bravado. And I can tell you that there's nothing special about Treifa food.(Personally, I wouldn't eat any meat dish in a Chinese restaurant. Just order the tofu!) Kosher matza-ball soup is still the best food on the planet, for both body and soul.

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  20. I don't understand you either way, if you believe in G-od just you cant control temptations in life. Why on earth do you need do eat Trief, I don't think it appeals. On the other hand if you don’t believe in G-od, as other people have written you must be crazy to live your life like a Frum Jew. However between your lines I see a lost soul who is not sure what he wants in life, does not feel satisfaction and fulfillment in life and tries to get a kick out of life by seeing how far he can push himself. I have great sympathy for you, and would recommend (I sound like a doctor) sorting out your life before your Yiddishkiet.

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  21. The chicken is the same chicken. The chicken does not know whether he will have the zchus of being shechted and charged a premium price or not for his body.

    Thanks for the story- i dont think you need to go prove yourself by doing things which are going to cause you discomfort- just for the sake of it. Given your upbringing it is almost impossible to really enjoy treif- accept it.

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  22. Lost Spirit,
    Are you Chassidic, or did the Chassidishe blogs rub off on you. Ever heard of a platonic relationship? ;)

    SF 2001,
    Let me elaborate a little more on the subject. My point wasn’t to eat un-kosher food. As I said I’m not a “יודע את רבונו ומתכוין למרוד בו” for I don’t know him. I did have an irrational fear to eat something non-kosher, and that is what I’m trying to get rid off. Why should I have to travel out of the way to find something kosher when I could buy what ever my heart pleases right across the street? That’s my point.

    Eemie,
    I am afraid that I will always feel like you. The only reason that I could eat the Treif chicken was that it didn’t look different then the kosher ones. I doubt that I’ll ever be able to put anything that looks like a shrimp or a lobster into my mouth.

    Avrum,
    I’ll have to take you up on this. I still like a good Sheryl Crow or Shania Twain over church music.

    I’m not a wine connoisseur. I like a good Bud Ice beer more then the best wine. What can I do, I’m a simple minded Chassid.

    SL,
    How about yourself? Do you eat everything? How about seafood?

    Mirty,
    This is exactly my point. My brains are the ones in charge here not my heart nor my stomach. It was not bravado; it was my rationale fighting with the leftovers of irrationality that was still clinging to me. For some reason eating on Yom Kippur was less of a deal then eating a little bit of chicken

    My list of desirable kosher foods is much longer. I practically love anything Heimish.

    Joe,
    To understand you must read the previous posts. If you still don’t get it then consider yourself in good company. However, when you do go back, try not to read between the lines until you finish the lines itself, you will only get more confused.

    RM,
    The only discomfort I had was, not understanding why I cannot make myself eat non-kosher. That is no longer valid. The only thing that I probably will never be able to enjoy is seafood and possibly pork. Just like Eemie said.

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  23. Oh I have heard it exists, and sometimes forcefully experienced it!!!
    And yes I am kind of Chassidish, but one does not have to be chassidsh to like fast cars and hot girls!!!!

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  24. Lost,
    LOL. I’ll leave it though, to Shloimy Glick to describe the taste of heaven.

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  25. Shtremeil! once again you've outodne yourself. This rates amongst your most briliant pieces.
    It's conditioning. It's the same as why Indians can't eat a cow. You want to be free.Chicken is chicken. I have eaten scallops and was unimpressed, don't see the big tzimmes over shrimp. Have not tasted lobster but a bal t'shvah told me it tastes like a very good baked potato

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  26. Shtriemel, regardless of you don't accept the "cause we're different" idea, Kashrut is still a higher standard (again, the chassids have taken it a bit away from it's purpose in saying you can only eat what someone you know personally has approved). Kosher food is healthier in general, it's safer in general.

    Getting off kosher food because you want to eat whatever comes your way is sort of like going to mexico and drinking the water cause it's there. The resulting diarrhea is more than enough to tell us we shouldn't do that. There's no reason to resort to a lower quality food just cause it's there. My point is that it's not entirely irrational.

    Same thing happens when a health food nut goes out of their way to find some organic vegetables. They don't find the normal FDA regulations to be acceptable (which they really aren't for meat).

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  27. To SpaceFalcon. Having eaten trafe much longer than I've been eating kosher, I just want to tell you that there is no kosher meat that can come even close to trafe meat. Sorry, it's just that the quality is not there. But that is not the point.

    Now onto the subject. When I was about 14-15 I noticed that on Yom Kippur, my communist father never ate, so strong was his pride and feeling of being Jewish that once a year he would put his communism aside and do what every good Jew did for centuries.
    Oh, and Shtreime, so what's next? I see at least one good thing, there is no man in your future, but what about a woman? Sounds very much like that will be the next thing you are going try.

    Yetta's husband.

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  28. youdidnt tell us if you gave a tren to miri after te treifene terriaki

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  29. Yetta’s Husband,
    Trying a woman, that would be mean to my own wife. See, my wife exists, I see her every day. Therefore, I try to be faithful (unless I get Heise Yiddenes drolling over me).

    Hiese,
    Should I describe how I look? I think it’s only befitting, especially if there’s going to be a romance out of it. So here comes:

    48 years old
    5’2”
    275lb
    Brown eyes
    Light blond beard
    My teeth are on its way to straighten out. That is what the dentist promised my mother.
    I’ve been on a diet the last 3 years and I have successfully lost more than 100lb.
    My limping problem is permanent sadly, but my mother just got me custom shoes that make me look perfect.
    My mother got me this great cream from the Dead Sea. It should work wonders on my pimples.

    I hope that you will be satisfied.

    StamYid,
    Ever heard of a platonic relationship? Given the above specs do you still blame her?

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  30. (HT , sharp comment about the defense mechanisms. )

    I think that shtreimel has raised some very valid issues in his blog and generally I enjoy reading it. However, I think shtreimel (and some of the readers who frequently comment) have lumped together all basic responsibilities in life and rejected them all under the guise of rejecting religion.
    Belief is a personal issue and it is not something that can be forced onto a person. If shtreimel doesn't believe , I dont think anyone can look down at him for it. It's his personal issue.
    However, there is an (unwritten) code of moral and ethics that every person, as a sane human being , has a responsibility to follow. Breaking that code is a loss of self respect.

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  31. Don't worry Gayil,
    my bark is way fiercer than my bite.

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  32. I solemnly announce:
    Above $5/oz,
    in my gastronomical life
    nothing is treife.

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  33. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  34. Gayil,

    I have to echo your feelings. While no one here knows where reality ends and fantasy begins with Shtreimal, one thing is entirely clear: Shtreimel has been justifying his charachter's behavior not only on artistic grounds, but also on substance. As a person who advocates free thinking, I feel offended when personal self worth and morality are lumped with religion and as such viewed with disdain. That is not free thinking in my book.

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  35. So, Streiml, I patiently read the whole story and all the comments and I still want to know if you f**ked Miri or not. I'll take hot chicks to treif food anyday.

    Speaking of which. I am still waiting to bang HT.

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  36. Shtreimel-

    While all your fans are tripping over each other congratulating you on your "amazing bravery" of eating treife, this personally doesn't bother me in your post. You have choices and you'll have to live with them.

    However, what I have a major problem with, is that you mention 2 little girls sleeping in your girlfriends home while visiting. You then mention leaving the house together with her to get your food. Whatever happened to the little girls while you and "Miri" were out? Please tell me they had a responsible adult watching them.

    I totally agree with some commenters that you are confusing religion with morality. Obviously you have neither.

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  37. Shtreimel,

    The notion that you should be knowledgeable to enjoy wine is nonsense. What you need to do:

    1. Buy good quality cheap wine. Avoid the foul sweet wines produced for the Charedi market. I am sure there are decent wine stores in your area where you can get sound advice.
    2. Chill white wines
    3. Open red wine bottle 40 minutes before meal.
    4. Drink with your food, no more than one or two glasses.
    5. If you don't finish the bottle remember that white wines spoil fast. Red wines can be saved for a day or even two days if the bottle is stopped with a vacuum saver available from your wine store.
    6. Avoid expensive glasses, decanters and other wine shmontzes.

    That's what you need to know. There are exceptions to these rules but for starters this is good enough.

    L'chaim.

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  38. Shtriemel,

    As much as I would like to comment on your blog I just don’t have the time. But I would like to echo Mom’s question there were kids home sleeping who watched them while you two were Oiesik B’mitzveh?

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  39. Berel,
    HT?????
    Since when do guys fuck brains?
    Why don't you try me? I'm HOT!!!

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  40. Shtreimel,

    Re: eating

    I have peculiar tastes. Lots of raw fruit and vegetables, fish, chicken, and a burger now and then. I seldom eat bacon or sausage with breakfast, because of the high salt content and nitrates.

    I don't like sea food. Squid, octupus, shrimp, crab, lobster, and whatever else gets caught in the tuna nets do not appear appetizing to me and sometimes are more work eating than I want to ever go through. Most seafood looks like big bugs anyhow.

    I don't have any vestiges of guilt, just habit.

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  41. Gayil,
    Which unwritten code has been broken? What are you talking about?

    HL,
    I have to echo my response to Gayil: What are you talking about? Morality? Where, what when?

    Berel,
    Do yourself a favor and leave HT out of this. I doubt that she would fall for this shallowness anyway. For your own sake, being a little more Mentch’lich will get you further in life even with girls. Unless of course, you like the shallow type anyway.

    Mom,
    Before I’m going to scream and become totally insane, could someone please tell me what the “morality” issue are we talking about? What has gone into ya’ll.

    A Goyteh from next door came in for a few minutes to watch the kids. It’s interesting to note that this neighbor has no kids of her own and does not expect such favors in return. Still she helps her out whenever she can out of the goodness of her heart. She does not expect any Olam Haba for it, I assume.

    Avrum,
    I’ll try it. Thanks for the tip.

    AAC,
    העוסק במצוה פטור מן המצווה

    Heise,
    Go have fun with him. If it works out don’t forget to send me Shadchunes Gelt.

    SL,
    It’s not the guilt, it’s something else. Had it been the guilt I would have felt the same while eating on Yom Kippur.

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  42. Re:sex

    I don't have sexual fantasies about the women that blog here. In fact, it would probably scare me witless if I were to develop any sexual fantasies at all.

    I prefer good food and good company to sex. That's just me. I'm sure 20 years ago the answer might be a little different. Wisdom is not destroying a good friendship by allowing sex or sexual thoughts to dominate it's tenor.

    There has only been one woman who, even at the sound of her voice, left me breathless and aroused. She is long gone,and I'm alright with a slow,lasting love and a little passion, if it happens.

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  43. I don't have sexual fantasies about the women that blog here.


    Come on Shlomo. You don't even fantisize about me?!?! Man you're in trouble.

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  44. My usual trick, comment first, read later..

    There are about 6 and a half billion people in the world that don't eat Kosher. I think Kosher is very cool, but we're not dead or dying from it..

    Just don't EVER eat at McD's ok? THAT is a real Sin! ;-)

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  45. Interesting conversation!

    I find it less and less easy to eat ANY meat.

    S, I really think you're doing a good job of transcending fear, it's very cool! How else does one find out the truth?

    Go for it! Love does not stop happening because you ate Chinese. 9or Japanese) Try a veggie Korma next. Mmm!!
    You can always get veggie sushi. No raw shrimp!

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  46. Yetta’s Husband,

    I've had treif meat before, I know what it's like. I never denied that. It's simply not better. I'm sure if you're willing to take out a few loans you can go to some upscale resturant with suped up beef to get something really good, meaning a cow that's had it's butt "professionally" massaged every day.

    However, in general, the FDA quality meat that finds it's way into any given resturant is crap that, if you knew what it's been through, you wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole. Do you really want a hamburger that contains the meat of hundreds or thousands of cows? Kashrut doesn't really allow for most of the horrendous processes that FDA meat finds itself in.

    Go watch Supersize me sometime. Liver Damage? Fries that survive a nuclear holocaust? That's not Kosher. ;)

    My Personal favorite is Best's Kosher Meat. Especially their glatt beef cubes. Definatly better than anything.

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  47. SL wrote,
    "There has only been one woman who, even at the sound of her voice, left me breathless and aroused. She is long gone,"

    Is she the one you dedicated the song, "She's Nobody's Girl," to?

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  48. what I have a major problem with, is that you mention 2 little girls sleeping in your girlfriends home while visiting. You then mention leaving the house together with her to get your food. Whatever happened to the little girls while you and "Miri" were out? Please tell me they had a responsible adult watching them.

    I believe that Shtreimel is attempting to write "creatively" and telling a story which has a "truth" at its core, but is not 100% accurate. This is one of his plot holes. This is because he doesn't understand that in "non-frum" NYC, Chinese food gets delivered to your home by a man on a bicycle.

    Ben

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  49. Ben
    Besides that, teriyaki is not Chinese but Japanese.

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  50. Reading the comments a interesting point struck me, you where in a situation where u could have done something religiously wrong i.e. eating treife or morally wrong i.e. bang miri and being unfaithful, now most Chassidim and most of the commentators (my self included) would by instinct say bang the girl, as that one seems the lesser of the two evils, and if you would do a blog where you banged miri but resisted the treife, many would even congratulate you. So humble me is going to congratulate you on having chosen the lesser of the two evils, and settled for eating the treife, and IMHO from a true Jewish prospective you made the better choice because the first thing of being Jewish is about being a decent human being, as well as one is between you and god and one is between you and man.

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  51. Lostspirit
    I’m not so sure about your statement “first thing of being Jewish is about being a decent human being”. I think most Hassidim would disagree with you as to them the first thing of being Jewish is living according to the halacha. And being a decent human is not even an issue to them. In fact I know many “good Jews” who use the halacha for what I find abject moral behavior.

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  52. ...notwithstanding the fact that there are people we all know who are recongnized as "religious" but not necessarily "decent" people, it can be argued that halachah in its full application is a recipe for being an all-around decent person.

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  53. Derech Eretz Kodmah L' Torah
    So be a nice guy when you close the Gemara
    Remember it's you who reflects Yiddishkeit
    So always be patient, proper, and polite.

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  54. SL: Are you Gay or something?

    HeiseY:

    Send me a pic hot_berel (yahoo)..

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  55. Berel,

    Die Mamma shrayt "Vay!"
    " Meine kindt ist a shkotz!"
    Berel, why Berel,are you such a putz?

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  56. Hot Berele,
    I would looooove to, but you see my booobs are so huge they don't fit onto a kodak sheet.

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  57. This site is quickly becoming one of my favorite. My site http://frumpter.blogspot.com sometimes has the same tune as yours. Have a kosher and freilich Pesach

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  58. I for the most part eat tuna fish sandwiches out. Maybe twice a week when I can't make a lunch. On those times that I am depressed I will order meat but stay w/ chicken, i.e. something that is kosher in its basic level.
    I think it has something to do w/ depression that you are feeling. When I was at my lowest I went a few times to 'Fuddruckers' for a burger.

    I would like to explore this whole thing further.

    Is it depression, anger, (At G-d, at something?), that causes the eating. IOW, you know that you can eat something w/ in some level of Kashrus but you decide to break that. Why do you break it on a particular day.

    Also for the scholars here a technical question. I ate a meat dish(Kosher) But no meat in it, vegetable soup from a Meat rest.
    Shortly after, I felt like having a slice of pizza which I did. At the end of the pizza, I remember that I am 'Fleishig', now I know it is not intentional, but what is the status at that point? Am I still Fleishig, or could I have milk to drink?

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  59. SL,
    You just broke the heart of many a woman who are commenting and participating on this blog or yours. Be careful, ‘cos you might turn them away for good.

    Chandira,
    I’ll make sure that you cook this up for me when I’m coming to visit. No take out is going to be acceptable. It will have to be your own handy work. Brace yourself.

    Ben and Circumspection,
    It’s not the ‘writers’ creativity’ that I’m allowing myself that is making these errors. It is my little game with myself of hiding my identity. Sometimes things don’t match up because of that. I’m glad that you and others point them out to me, but it does make my job harder, now I have to double check everything I write with the actual hard fact. *sigh*

    SL,
    It’s only Kodmah La’torah. Once one is already doing the Torah, he is no more obligated to Derech Eretz, or so is the Minhag at least.

    Hirsch,
    Thanks.

    Fedupx,
    What is a meat rest? You might not have been Flieshig at all.

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  60. You're coming to visit!! That would be very cool, you're always welcome. :-)

    Robert might have to cook though!! lol

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  61. Chinese food is in a class by itself -- one of God's most wonderous creations, so it's ok to bless Him while eating it ;)

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  62. Meat Resteraunt. There is a sign that says everything you have there is Fleishig.
    I was just wondering technically, if you broke it already, the 6 hours, what are you so to speak.

    I thought a bit about this over Pessach. I was very careful not to eat Chametz. For the last days, my davening was very intense.
    I was 'shukling' big time.I was chanting aloud many parts of the prayer. I felt connected, gevaldig, all of that.
    Is it a Pessach feeling, and/or is there a connection to the food aspect of Pessach?
    Will it last? I don't know. I tend to think not, once the Yuntif feeling wear off in a day or so. I still am eating Matzos only for the moment.
    I guess the challenge is to keep this feeling. This is the challenge. It's a nice feeling for the moment. Hopefully it will lead me to any decent job or business opportunity.

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